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marisandini-chu-blog · 4 years ago

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Bruce Wayne is a Simp for Bad Bitch

OmG I can’t believe I’m writing the obvious but the idea is in my head and I need a place to word vomit.

Okay, so it occurred to me that Bruce has a more serious and intense relationship canonically with three women, as far as I know; Andrea Beaumont, Talia Al’ghul, and Selina Kyle. All of whom are the epitome of Bad Bitch with the capital B. (Yes, I’m ignoring Rachel Dawes from Nolanverse. The only thing I like about it is the Iconic Joker. No batman movie is good enough without the Batfam.)

Why do I raise this point, you might ask? Well, that’s because I want to rant that Bruce, my boy, my man, my childhood comfort character is actually a SIMP?!?!

Like... I’m just... urgh.... okay... I am very vocal for a healthy relationship with commitment and based on mutual love and respect. So the fact that Bruce has only bad, iffy, or casual relationships really want to tear my hair out. And why my heart don’t want to ship with any of them, even though BatCat is one of my favorite pairing!

I am a WonderBat shipper because I love watching them in JLAU as a kid and even though I’m not slash shipper unless it’s canon, SuperBat made much more sense to me. Heck even a threesome with the Trinity would have been healthier relationship rather than whatever Bruce had with the three of them and here’s why:

You might not have heard of Andrea, but she’s canon from the Timmverse movie called Batman and the Mask of Phantasm which is A REALLY GREAT MOVIE. Totally recommend. One of the best Batman movie at all times (Yes, I say Batman movies not Batman Animated movies). Has great plot twist and good pacing. so Spoiler Alert! Andrea was Bruce’s fiancé, making her possibly Bruce’s first love, before his journey and possibly could have stop him from becoming Batman (I would say he’s a simp in this case, but he would have had a much more happier, healthy household so it’s not bad thing) if she hadn’t disappear for being a Mob Boss’ Daughter!!!

I repeat, a mob boss’ daughter.

And she came back only to be a mask avenging assassin that went toe-to-toe with Batman.

And she could have choose to stay with Bruce but she didn’t because she choose vengeance over him. Like.... Bats, you should stop with the “I am Vengeance” routine you’ve got going on because she does it better than you ngl.

So she left and I cried at the end of that movie because trauma wasn’t enough, you put heartbreak after heartbreak to my boy. Thanks DC.

Then there’s Fucking Talia Al’ghul which is a no brainer why she’s not Bad but BAD. Like, Talia groom Jason, supervise Damian’s harsh, brutal, and abusive training, control Damian through the implant spine to kill Dick, orders Damian execution before regretting it, DRUG BRUCE when CONCEIVING DAMIAN!!! And that’s only the top of my head.

And if you want to blame it on Morrison’s writing, THAT’S FINE. We’ve bitched about Tom King’s writing enough to know it’s valid.

But, BUT, bUt... it needs to be address that even before Morrison, Talia CHOOSE to stay in the League of Assassin. People can tell me that she’s a complex character that’s loyal to her father but love Bruce and that her upbringing makes her complicated or whatever. Nuh-uh. You don’t get to make Talia helpless when it suited you. Talia is a fucking Bad Bitch (TM). She’s been taught to do whatever the fuck she wants according to her belief and ideal. At some point, Talia knew she wanted to be in position of power in the League rather than staying with Bruce.

But it’s canon that Talia, if I remember correctly, doesn’t like Gotham or Bruce’s mission. She thinks being a hero is beneath them or whatever. And doesn’t understand why Gotham is special to Bruce. So yeah, you might not agree how Morrisons write her. But do not fucking tell me she’s not a character who will not be willing to do what she thinks it’s necessary to get what she wants, including training her son as an assassin. I mean, she likes being the Demon’s Daughter in the league. She may not agree with her father but Talia wants to give Damien what she wants. Power.

Talia loves Bruce. That’s a fact. He’s probably the only person that makes her feel like she’s a person instead of the Demon’s Daughter. Bruce has a knack for that. To make people want to be better, even just a little. Talia could have chosen him, if she wanted to. The fact that she helps him so much when fighting against her father numerous times is proof enough.

I'm highly suspecting the reason she stays is because she knows Bruce would always forgive her (SIMP ALERT) unlike her father who would straight up stab her if she ever betrays him.

I’m not saying there’s no love for her son, I’m just saying if she even looks at the batfam funny than I will raise my flamethrower on that bitch’s face. Because you can’t rely on Bruce on that. That man would give bullshit excuse for her or want to handle her himself because your “history” with her makes you entitled.

Aaaah, don’t you just love it when there’s a great villain you can hate on so much?

I'm not saying she can't be a good person. Pre-morisson made Talia more of an anti-hero. But I do like Talia "I'mma cut a bitch" al'ghul. It's just... I like ruthless Bad Bitch like her. Though preferably she could have balance it with more of her maternal side through Damian.

Okay, I’m getting off tangent. Now comes to my favorite girl. Catwoman. Selina Kyle. The famous ship of all Bruce’s relationship sans SuperBat.

I... am conflicted the most about this.

See, Selina is one of the few people who understands Bruce. Who was there when he needed a shoulder to rely on. Someone who doesn’t take Bruce’s shit, and one of the constant person in Bruce’s life.

But not... constant enough. Which is a theme of her, even in her fursona... I, I mean PERSONA, PERSONA!!!

Anyway, I love seeing these two broken people. One handles it with violence and vigilantism, the other through thieving with a Robinhood-esque thing going on. So of course they get each other. It always helps that they try to make each other better. Selina taught Bruce to be okay of being selfish of wanting to be happy, and Bruce believed there’s good in her that makes her feel she’s not a hopeless case, y’know? It’s even canon that in one universe, they’re married and have daughter, Helena Wayne. So... yeah? Happy end! (Until they died but that’s non issue here at the moment.)

Then Tom King (Urgh, him again) wrote Bat proposing to Cat, and by the time they’re about to be married. Selina left him at the altar.

So yeah.

But then they get metaphysically? Figuratively? married after the Flashpoint which they turn Thomas Wayne into a villain (At least make him from alternate universe instead of timeline!!!) and kill Alfred (WhYYYYYY?! Bruce suffered enough why do you go kill both his fathers dammit!!! Let the goddamn butler rest in peace). And basically Selina and Bruce promise each other forever. Which is sweet. BatCat Forever, am I right???

Yeah, here’s the problem. (And I’m just nitpicking here, okay). For all Tom King’s character assassination of Bruce, he did Selina right in one thing. Which is the fact she doesn’t like being tied down by anything.

If Talia puts importance in power. Selina puts importance in freedom and her self-independence.

I remember as a kid watching BTAS, that Selina didn’t want a relationship with batman if it meant changing who she is. So when Selina left the altar, I wasn’t surprise at the news. Then she actually agreed to marry him, only this time, she didn’t need a judge or a paper to make the marriage legit, y’know. And I thought, yeah that’s so her.

But the thing is Bruce. Accepts. Her. Every. Single. Time.

Without a single thought. She asked, “Do you still want to get married?” and he asked “When?”

Even though it’s not the first that Cat leaves him hanging.

Tell me he’s not a simp for that.

It’s great that he accepts her for everything she is. But I’m conflicted because Selina stays static. She stays with the cat theme in the fact she doesn’t want to held back by anything. She takes what she wants. She loves who she loves. And no one was gonna change her. But then where’s the character growth?

Is it regressive of me to think Selina should be ‘tied down’ or express commitment when she never has been tied down before even though she loves Bruce?

Is it not-feminist of me to think Selina has to change herself for a man?

I just don’t like the fact Bruce and Selina enables their masked persona. Their relationship is strongly base on their cat-and-mouse chase. They nicknamed each other “Bat” and “Cat” for God’s sake. Even though yes, it’s canon that “Batman” and “Catwoman” is their real selves and their civilian life is their masks. Heck, she didn’t go for the altar because she believed (though manipulated) that making Bruce happy would make Batman insufficient, or losing him entirely (Thank Tom King for that).

That would be true, and stay true if not for one thing. Which is some thing what Bruce has that Selina doesn’t:

The Batfam.

Bruce’s real identity isn’t just the Batman anymore. He has to be a single father with growing children he never plan to adopt but did anyway because they needed each other. He can’t use his batman persona to be a father at his house, but he will when training them to be his partner. His family became the strength to Bruce’s fight for Justice.

Bruce is the Batman, but he’s not everything who he is. Selina is supposed to be part of the batfamily yet sadly, I haven’t read or watch anything that has her interact with them in a positive way or actually bond with them. Heck, when Alfred inform the proposal to the batfam they were shocked and thought it was a bad idea even (And they’ve known her for almost half their life by the way.)

The fact that Tom King implied Bruce was never happy or wasn’t happy enough without marrying Cat when his Batfam should be the source of his pride and joy?! Apparently family means nothing to Batman. Woah DC, what a great message you’re sending here.

I guess that’s why, I was a bit iffy when Selina “marriage” with Bruce isn’t official. Because she commits to the man but she doesn’t say she’ll commit to the family (though I suppose it could be imply or I just forget stuff). The batkids are grown up enough that they don’t really need a maternal figure, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need more emotionally available people in the family. And that I haven’t seen much of her taking effort to bond with the people that’s the most important to Bruce.

It just makes her want to commit to Batman instead of Bruce Wayne, in my eyes I guess.

So yeah, that’s why Wonderbat and Superbat makes more sense to me. Because they’ll make an effort to be THERE for the family and they’ll be just generally be a healthier relationships because, again, emotionally available so they might talk when they have a problem instead of running off the altar when you think a Happy Batman is Bad Batman. But no, DC have to make Bruce is a simp and his life edgy.

Anyway, I might be wrong in some things because, you know. Canon becomes a blur to me after a while.

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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I saw your version of the Titans (way back, I was playing with Search) and I was wondering, what would Tim be? Especially since Nightwing and Flamebird encapsulate what a phoenix is so well. Obviously now they correspond to the World Forger and the Anti-Monitor, but your thoughts on the third generation?

So I believe you’re talking about the posts I’ve made about Jason’s age-group of Titans and lineup in an AU - That’s from a series I’ve bee working on for ages, called “Kings of the Sky” (which refers to all the Batfamily, not just Dick and Jason or even just the boys. Title comes from a story I have Dick tell that his grandfather told him, about why before he was married and he and his wife became the original Flying Graysons, in this AU’s history, when he was a solo act, he was billed as “Daniel Grayson, the King of the Sky!’ Just lofty, pretentious-sounding showmanship on the surface, something the aristocrats he performed for were happy to introduce this lowly commoner as, laughing all the while, but Daniel as I’ve made him out to be, had a particular fascination with names for specific reasons, and everything they could mean and be while not being what they seemed. So even as they laughingly billed him as such, they never got the real joke, which was passed down as a kind of family tradition that only Daniel’s family, the Flying Graysons, all Kings of the Sky, and then from there Dick’s second family, were really the only ones to ever get the way he intended it. There’s no such thing as a King of the Sky, of course, that’s the joke….but at the same time there is, and that’s the secret, because just because someone else looks at the name and pictures it as something its not, and thus says it can never be, doesn’t mean that for those who use that name, it means something very different, and that they very much are.

This AU goes divergent from the moment Dick gets involved in the Garzonas situation and weighs in, so Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia because he never even goes back to his old apartment, desperately seeking some feeling of family to connect to. He has no need to here. And the second installment is about the aftermath of the Brother Blood storyline and addressing Dick’s non-adopted status at the time, and various other things, and then by the third installment, it starts introducing Jason to other friends his own age and gathering together his future lineup of Titans, mentored by Dick’s and who will be a kind of mentors to Tim’s (and Duke’s) in time as well…..and also starts to delve into the ACTUAL AU storylines of this series, once its thoroughly departed from canon at that point and I’ve sorted out my issues with Bruce’s reaction/belief about Garzonas and Bruce’s non-presence during the BB story and aftermath and the adoption issues.

So by the third installment, Bruce is no longer getting yelled at by his sons about how to parent the other one and is doing the actual Batdad parenting and things start up with Jason’s Titans and storylines and Dick slowly becoming aware of the Court of Owls and their involvement in his family history and their plans for him (and just how many of them or their children/future Court members have been around him in galas and parties and various encounters throughout his childhood in Gotham). As well as bringing in the other members of the Batfamily one by one (or two by two in Tim and Duke’s case in this AU).

BUT for the most part, aside from the individual storylines, this AU is about family history. And not just Dick’s, even though he’s my fave and primary focus - I have an obnoxious need to be THOROUGH (read: obsessive) and a disgusting need to be FAIR (read: YOU get a storyline and YOU get a storyline and EVERYBODY GETS A STORYLINE!) and also just anal.

So its about the Batfamily being an actual family instead of dysfunctional occasional roommates, but its also how that doesn’t take away from their original families or experiences or their importance in shaping them, just as none of them by virtue of being their ‘original’ families take away from the importance of their second found family. Its all one and the same, family is family, their families are their families all at the same time and there don’t need to be all these partitions. So Kings of the Sky has a particular relevance to that not just for Dick, but in that its secret meaning to Daniel and how it described him and his family, all the way down to Dick, also ends up describing Dick’s second family, and there’s nothing coincidental or by chance about this, because the point is family is CHOICE and names only mean what you choose them to mean, what YOU see them as meaning.

So this AU could just as easily have been titled something like Family History, even though almost all of the members of their first families that come into play here do so in flashbacks and stories the Batfam tell each other about their first families and that their families told them. So Daniel Grayson and the start of the Grayson family line is hugely relevant and delved into, and not just for its connection to the Court and their storyline. Dick’s paternal grandparents here lived well into their eighties, because why the hell not, did canon say they couldn’t? did I ask? no and no. So his grandmother died when he was like two, and his grandfather a few years later, but Dick does remember a little bit and so Daniel’s lifelong quest to find out where he really came from, who he really WAS, becomes Dick’s mystery to solve once and for all so he can finally put that to rest for his grandfather and find some closure with his first family and not feel like he’s forgotten or abandoned them just because he’s so fully embraced his second one as being his as well.

Only instead of solving the mystery being for Daniel’s sake, its really about what he finds being for his own sake, because as Dick’s Grandpa used to tell him: “A man who knows himself knows his own name,” and as Dick finds that even without ever definitively getting his answers while alive, Daniel was actually born to a Crowne and named himself King and knew who he was all his life and lived his life truly, and that’s the real answer Dick needs to realize that Cobb and his words and intentions mean nothing to Dick because Dick is not a Cobb and would never choose to be, he’s a Grayson and the Graysons have all, always to the last one, been who they choose to be and not a damn thing else, certainly never what anyone else believes them to be.

And Dick is Nightwing throughout this of course, except for one pivotal storyline towards the end of the series, where he and Jason go deep undercover as supervillains for awhile, and during that part of the series, Dick uses War Shrike as his name, and for those wondering, yes this means Boone is around and hugely relevant to this series in specific ways. And of course, he goes back to being Nightwing after.

And Jason never goes to Ethiopia because he never goes back to his apartment building that time, but that doesn’t mean he never finds out about Sheila and goes looking for her, but when he does he’s not 15 and desperate for family, he’s 19 and on a road trip with his BFF Grant Emerson aka Damage who has his own questions about his unknown real family, but both HAVE families by now and don’t NEED more, they just want to know who’s out there and potentially close the book on that one way or another, which is a very different thing and different story, but also, fuck Sheila, and all of that will still come into play but Jason’s not alone this time and not so lonely he can be crushed by her not being the mother he in Ethiopia thought he needed her to be. Also, Sheila comes from a family of her own, and just because fuck Sheila, doesn’t mean there aren’t more relatives out there that aren’t just The Worst.

And Jason is Robin in the first few installments of this series and then becomes Flamebird and usually most likely teamed up with Dick when they’re not with their individual Titans, and thus neither are ultimately off doing solo acts elsewhere and being lonely loners who actually hate being lonely. Except of course for the undercover storyline, at which point Jason uses the name Gray Jay, a kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size (Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction). And then of course after that Jason goes back to being Flamebird.

(And the eternal drama that is the years long gay love quadrangle of DOOOM that is Jason and Tom Bronson and Ray Terrill and Todd Rice all being young dumb and gay and not even actually sure which of the other three they actually LIKE they just know that its possibly more than one of them but its definitely not all of them which why they are NOT a fucking polecule, shut the fuck up Courtney - Courtney Mason aka Anima - and never WILL be but are definitely a love quadrangle instead and a very confusing one and also dont call it that Dick its not that its NOOOOOT.)

I still have no idea how this even came about, I didn’t plan it, Lilith just sort of accidentally (hah) instigated it via meddling slash deliberately plotting while bored and chaotic and it was just too much fun to stop so I just haven’t yet and possibly never will. Also, Dick and Cass have WAY too much fun with it as well, particularly Cass, since there is ammunition against Dick in the form of “Shut up and go suck face with your assassin boyfriend”/I DONT EVEN LIKE BOONE LIKE THAT, JASON, GOD, SHUT UP, HE’S MY NEMESIS, UGH DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYTHING YOU’RE SUCH A LOSER UGGGGGH, but of course it wouldn’t be fair to NEVER get to retaliate against Cass, so they eventually catch wind of her tripping and falling on her face because she forgets how movement works when crushing on a certain heroine, no its not Steph, its more one of those things where the other one is older enough that its not endgame and more of a crushing on one of your older brother’s friends which means they’re always around and oh no what if they FIND OUT THAT WILL BE SO EMBARRASSING I MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE but also NOOOOOO DONT FIGHT WITH MY DUMBASS OLDER BROTHER THAT MEANS YOU MIGHT STOP COMING OVER ALL THE TIME AND I WONT SEE YOU ALL THE TIME AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE.

The….unique form of sibling interaction shared by the three eldest Batkids here ratchets up a DEF-CON danger level at that point. They are all armed then, and just desperate enough to use that ammunition if you press them.

So yes, Cass ends up the third to enter this family here, and Lady Shiva and everything there will play out much differently and she’s still not Mother of the Year or even like, good, but she is MORE than she is in canon here, and like, there’s actual depth and HISTORY there and also, there’s not with David Cain though because fuck that guy, just kill him, who cares where he came from just drop him in a hole and assume its the one he crawled out of in the first place. Pttthb. Loser.

And here Babs still is crucial in mentoring her even if she ends up being brought into the family and adopted by Bruce much sooner than in canon and it being Dick and Jason and Cass for awhile as the three Batkids. So Cass is there when Jason is still Robin for a couple more years, only moving to Flamebird when he’s around eighteen, and so she becomes Batgirl as Babs becomes Oracle, and is pretty much Batgirl all the way until she ends up becoming Black Bat (and Steph takes her place as Batgirl after previously being Spoiler. Steph’s around fairly early too, and not actually a member of the immediate family as things get better with her and her mom, but she delights in referring to herself as ‘that chick from Full House who doesn’t live there but is always there anyway, whether CERTAIN PEOPLE like it or not, and no I don’t know her name Bruce, its not like I watched the show, I’m not EIGHTY, what does any of that have to do with anything?)

And also in between Batgirl and Black Bat, Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan, and War Shrike and Gray Jay being so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, and her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them being sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being evidence that clearly she is the boss and they are her advance minions. Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

Snippet from that fic’s outline:

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.

And Tim’s debut is delayed by the non-death of Jason and happens very differently as do things with his first family, too much to get into, but all of that is very relevant to the Family History theme of things, and in this AU he and Duke are actually the same age because what is Tim’s age anyway, what has Tim’s age ever been anyway, does anyone anywhere at any time actually know Tim’s age because I swear it is a quantum anomaly that randomly fluctuates at any given moment and eats brain cells that dare try and pin a number on it. And Duke and Tim are both in different foster care placements and have never met when both decide to become Robin after Jason becomes Flamebird and Robin is seemingly gone from Gotham, and its just Batman and Batgirl having father-daughter-kicking-supervillains-asses bonding nights.

Because its not like in canon, but still, its unsettling, its weird, all the kids Duke and Tim both know feel it just the same. There’s always been a Robin in Gotham for as long as any of them remember at this point, there’s SUPPOSED to be a Robin, Gotham NEEDS Robin just as much as it needs Batman, and they’re not surprised adults don’t get that, because adults have always had Batman and he’s THEIRS and even if he’s there for the kids too, Robin is FOR the kids, HE’S theirs, and look, there just needs to be a Robin, okay?

So Duke and Tim both decide well if there’s not a Robin and there’s gotta be a Robin and nobody else seems to be doing anything about it, hey, here comes Robin! At the same time. And then drama and conflict and chaos happens, and Duke and Tim end up taken in by B doing as B does, and they both end up Robin and alternate patrols so one can have a life while the other has Batman-bonding-and-bad-guy-battling time. With Duke most often being the daytime Robin and Tim the night time Robin, though there’s rarely any confusion from them both being named Robin, because Duke’s costume is more yellow and Tim’s is more Red and people pretty much always know which they’re talking about and if further clarification is needed, they just refer to them as Red and Yellow. Not Red Robin or Yellow Robin, more like “Wait, which Robin did you say was there? Oh it was Red.”

And so they’re Robin, and are about ready to graduate from that when the undercover storyline happens, so they temporarily take on the older two boys’ mantles for them so as to keep anyone from being suspicious and wondering where the hell Nightwing and Flamebird are these days anyway. So Tim is Nightwing for awhile and Duke is Flamebird, but then Dick and Jason take back those mantles which Tim and Duke happily relinquish and replace with their new mantles, at which point Tim is Kingfisher (too much plot stuff and family history stuff has to happen before an explanation of this would make sense at this point) and Duke is something like Blue Heron, I’m still fidgeting with that one because it doesn’t quite fit but none of the other options I’ve gone through yet are better. But its definitely a Blue bird and not like a Bluejay or anything like that, it has to be something like a Crane or Heron or a bird with certain connotations along similar lines to theirs, because Duke’s family history is hugely relevant here too (and largely made up by me like Daniel Grayson’s, given the scarcity in canon) but if you look around you can probably find a bunch of meta about how I feel Duke’s powers COULD be linked to Blue Lanterns in a lot of very specific ways even if I don’t think canon is going there.

And this isn’t to make Duke a Blue Lantern, but rather here is similar to Alan Scott being imbued by the Starheart in the 40s while in Gotham, and basically ending up just like a Green Lantern but unaffiliated, and having children who inherit similiar powers to him and wildly different powers than him at birth, due to how the Starheart changed him. So here, at the same time that happened to Alan, there was another similar object that crashed into Gotham that same night, and that imbued Duke’s maternal grandmother with all the same abilities as a Blue Lantern, but again, no affiliation to the not-yet-existing Corps. So Duke’s grandmother and her previously-unknown-even-to-him story has a lot to do with certain installments just like Daniel’s story has to do with Dick’s story, as well as the revelations about Duke’s mother Elaine having powers (like we at least have been told she does in canon) and thus where his own come from, even if by this point in the family lineage they’re not exactly like a Blue Lanterns and have their own distinct aspects as well.

And then Damian is there in time to take over as Robin after Tim and Duke, and he’s still Robin by the end of the series, so I don’t have anything firm for his later mantle.

ANYWAY, those are the names, if you want some excerpts from the series, included below are:

1) Snippet from the outline of the as-yet-unwritten story where Duke and Tim join the Batfam, which is basically kinda like my usual not!fic manner of writing, where its a bunch of scene snippets and dialogue that aren’t meant to be the final story or even likely to be in the final story, but rather serve as a placeholder for me to preserve my ‘feel’ of what I want a scene or dialogue or interaction to be like when it first pops into my head and I want to be able to recall it when I get around to actually wriitng it.

DUKE AND TIM (AND ALSO DICK AND JASON AND CASS BEING SIBLINGS WHO ARE WEIRD)

So they run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was likely going to need one because I sorta figured some kid running around in a mask basically making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman and I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anywayso why not be me?”

“That’s a terrible plan.”

“I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought *I* was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? Idk what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

(Something like that.)

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me SOMEHOW, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

Except: “Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

Another shrug. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along, and still watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just JUMPED out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

CUT TO:

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down his resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway, because you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think so like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face.”

“Wait, what is this this I did before? What are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m pretty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

*****

2) Excerpt from the first installment, “Teachable Moments,” part of a story Dick retells as he remembers his grandfather and later his father telling it to him.

Further context for this:

In my Grayson family backstory headcanons, Daniel has a lifelong strange fascination with names, that grew out of his personal unsolved mystery of where he came from. The only thing he ever knew was that he was left at the circus in a blanket with Daniel embroidered on it, and was taken into be raised there, and by the time he was old enough to ask questions about himself, he knew everyone at the circus had known him to be called Daniel Grayson since they first met him as a baby…..but what he could never find an answer for was who decided to name him that and why. Per canon, we saw his father William Cobb hand him to Haly’s grandfather to be raised, and he told Haly’s grandfather to call him Grayson.

So I expanded on this and so in the context of this series, Daniel of course eventually wondered where Grayson came from if no one knew where he was from, and Haly’s grandfather claimed he didn’t name him that, and refused to elaborate further…..which left Daniel with the fact that he was left at the circus and introduced to the others there as baby Daniel Grayson by Haly’s grandfather, who then later denied to Daniel being the one to pick the name and give it to him, but also denied any knowledge of where he came from.

So Daniel always knew he had to be lying about ONE of those two things, with the lie most likely being the second thing….but he could never get him to admit it, or prove it, and that kinda always haunted him in a way. And so, his fixation with names grew out of never knowing where his came from or how he came to have it, and this line from something he said once kinda sums up his obsession with it:

He’d joke about how it was itchy, like it never felt like it fit him right, and Grandma would fondly scoff and say he just thought it was too boring and plain. But Grandpa being Grandpa, he’d just take that and spin it into an agreement, further evidence he was right.

“Grayson is what you’d name a man you thought should go unnoticed and be overlooked, he’d say. “And I am not that man.”

Because that was his real problem, the thing he could never shake….he didn’t care about the name itself, because as the below excerpt touches on, he found a way to make his name work for him, to feel like it did fit him and was part of who he was by choice, by intention. He defined his name, rather than let his name define him. Its the reason the Grayson family colors, as originally worn by him, are the brightest hues he could fit together, a deliberate attempt to make him, and by extension his family’s future generations….the exact OPPOSITE of what their name denoted. He didn’t mind being a Grayson, or regret it, AFTER he took ownership of his identity despite his lack of answers and seized it, put his own mark on it, made it his….because no matter the intention of whomever gave him that name, he didn’t have to be defined by it the way they meant him to.

BUT, the fact remained that even after making his own peace with his name and claiming it as his own, definitively, regardless of any one else’s view of it….he could never shake the feeling that given the vague circumstances of his arrival at the circus and mysteriousness of where he came from, that his name “Grayson” wasn’t just random choice and didn’t just get picked out of nowhere by someone, nor did he think it was actually his family name before him, given that everything else about his origins suggested an attempt to shroud where he came from, making it unlikely that they did all that just to have him still grow up with his actual family name. So from a pretty young age, he always had this feeling that the name Grayson was PICKED to be given to him, specifically, and that this was done with a reason, it was MEANT as something…..and gut feeling due to everything combined, was the quote above. He always believed someone named him that because he was meant to be unseen, unnoticed, slip through the cracks without anyone ever paying attention…..

And its not his name itself Daniel took issue with, it was someone thinking they could just DECIDE he and his life were meant to be lived unnoticed, nothing but gray. And so his whole life he kinda devoted it to defying that idea, even if he never knew for sure, and he basically pursued the spotlight to do the complete opposite of that. He trained to be an acrobat, sought out teachers on his own, so that he’d have a way to stand out rather than just help various acts backstage, and in time he became Daniel Grayson, the King of the Sky, Haly’s star solo act until he married and he and his wife became the Flying Graysons, and then John and Mary and finally Dick as well.

EXCERPT FROM “TEACHABLE MOMENTS:”

“But there is no King of the Sky, Dickie,” he’d said to me then with a wink. “That’s the joke, you see? No one can claim the sky as theirs, no one can own it. Send your armies to claim it in your name and all you’d see is legions of empty-handed fools all grasping at air! There’s no way to draw your borders, no foundation on which you could build any walls. And where would you even put your throne?”

“He’d laughed then, mischievous and wheezing, as he recalled all the courts the circus had entertained back in its glory days, when Europe’s nobility would always each host some circus or troupe or performers at various festivals. All the kings and queens for whom he’d performed his signature feats, who’d show him off to their most important guests afterwards. The ones who had been invited specifically so they’d see that this court held only the grandest of celebrations, that they and their guests were entertained by only the very best of the best.

“Oh, but they were always so eager to introduce me by title,” he’d said, rheumy eyes still somehow keeping their sparkle. “There they were, kings and crown princes, pushing me forward and telling their guests to come greet me, this commoner they were all too glad to proclaim royalty no different to them. After all, any king can present his guests with an entertaining spectacle, but how much grander is the king who hosts the spectacle of being entertained by another king? Ah, but they were always more than happy to elevate me if but for the night…in doing so, they elevated themselves as well. Up we all went, all without feet ever leaving the floor!”

“Names can be such a funny thing, don’t you think?” He’d sort of mused that, stroking his chin like he was pondering some great mystery. “Meaning nothing and everything all at the same time. That’s a powerful trick. Useful too, if you can master it.”

I know I started giggling then, just because as far back as I can remember, names were always kind of a…almost a passion of his, I guess you could say. It was just this thing he did, it was like he could never just let a name be. There was always some trick to a name, he’d insist. You just had to find it. Its why our family colors were red, yellow and green, as a matter of fact. All in only the brightest hues of each, combining to make us the complete opposite of the Gray in our name.

‘The crowd comes in to see the acrobat named Grayson, what do they expect from just the name? Drab, unremarkable, likely to be lost in the shadows, from just the sound of him. But then he dives off the platform in a burst of colors impossible to miss and the crowd gasps, expectations shattered in an instant….and from there, they think, what more surprises might possibly await? And already you have them at the edge of their seat, eyes caught by the colors of a costume its impossible to lose sight of. You command their attention, you’re unencumbered by their assumptions, and they’re yours from that moment on….and all of that from just a pop of color, a warning that you are not what they thought….and a name. A Flying Grayson, up above as expected, yet unexpectedly the brightest thing in the sky. An inherent contradiction. An impossible sight you can’t help but to see.’

“Anyway, so there I was,” Dick said, straightening up and shaking his head with a slightly rueful smile, as if to physically pull himself out of the undertow of memories tugging him further away from where he’d begun. “Already giggling just from his little chin-stroking act as he started talking about names, because I knew he was bound to say something silly next, just from that. And he’d jumped a little, and turned in his armchair to face me directly and with his full focus, because Grandpa thrived off of an engaged audience like nothing else.

“Yes, a powerful thing, a name,” he’d continued after a moment that was either a dramatic pause or me thinking anything longer than ten seconds might as well be the same as an hour, at that age. “But a tricky business, naming things, as you first have to know what a thing is, before you attempt to claim it by naming it what it is not. And being named can just as easily be a powerful trap, of course. If a man doesn’t know himself well enough to know he is not what a name claims, he can wind up stuck in a cage that’s not sized to fit him. Simply because he doesn’t know he has more than enough room to slip free of it if he tried.”

“Then he leaned down close enough to me to whisper, and looked around as if checking we were alone before dropping into a raspy whisper like we were conspiring. “But a man who knows what he wants and knows what he’s capable of, and can put the right name to both….that’s where the real magic is. Do you know what kind of power your name has?”

“Richard means lion-hearted,” I remember reporting after some thought. And that he blew a raspberry right after that like he was the five year old of the two of us, but then, Grandpa was just like that sometimes. “Yes, yes, true enough,” he said, making a face like he’d tasted something sour, “But I don’t mean the one your father picked most likely to spite me for naming him John in the first place. No matter how many times I tell him I had nothing to do with that, I lost the right to name him in a card game with your Grandmother. Although for the record, I still maintain I didn’t lose, she just cheated. But I still have no idea how she did it so I have to respect that, I suppose. But no. Not that name. The one your mother gave you.”

“And of course then I knew he meant Robin, and said so, and he asked what that meant to me. And I remember thinking long and hard about that one, because as I said, I knew even by that age what Grandpa was like on the subject of names, and so I was sure there was some kind of riddle or game in what he was asking, I just wasn’t sure where. So finally I just referred back to what my Mom always used to say, about me being born on the first day of spring, and being her little Robin. And he just nodded, and then he asked: And do you remember the first time you called yourself Robin to someone else, and why? What you said then?”

*************

But its mostly by the third installment of this series that things start simmering on the long-term Court of Owls storyline throughout this, which is where all the stuff with the Grayson backstory comes into play.

Because in finding out about Cobb and the Court of Owls and their connection to his family and intentions for him, and fighting all that and dealing with the implications, the thing is….in the process Dick of course ends up finding all the answers that his grandfather spent his whole life searching for.

So its about how the Court of Owls and Cobb’s actions and plans have affected Dick’s whole family through three whole generations, now that Dick is its endgame and he can see the full picture……which among other things, allows Dick a kind of closure for a lot of stuff with his first family. He’s finally able to solve the mystery Daniel was haunted by, and gain a big sense of validation from it, because in doing so he affirms that he and his family line aren’t really defined by their connection to Cobb, or even really the result of Cobb and his actions.

Because knowing Cobb’s intentions, knowing that HE named the Grayson family line and what it was supposed to mean….even though Daniel never got his answers while he was alive, Dick’s able to put all of that to rest in a lot of ways by realizing that his grandfather might not have ever gotten the specifics…..but he still got it right. Dick can now affirm that his grandfather guessed right as to what the person who named him Grayson meant for it to mean, meant for him to be. But Dick knows now too, that without even knowing that for sure, his grandfather managed to do all the right things in exactly the right ways to defy those intentions and spit in the face of what he was ‘supposed’ to be or do. As did John then, as well, and now as did Dick.

And so Dick can say with full certainty that no matter where his family comes from originally, the Grayson name was never defined by what the Court interpreted it as….but as the Graysons defined it for themselves. They are what they made themselves to be, and Dick can see himself in that, his choices reflected in the ones his father and grandfather made before him, all without knowing just what exactly it was they were defying or anything like that….they did all that naturally, just by virtue of being who they were themselves, who they chose to be. And that ultimately, is what the name Grayson means to Dick….the same thing it always meant to his father, and what it always meant to his grandfather at the very beginning of their TRUE family line, the only one THEY actually claim NAME to.

The true history of Dick’s family, his first family, the true legacy of The Flying Graysons, the Kings of the Sky, is an entire century of every last one of them going “FUCK YOU, WE DO WHAT WE WANT” to ‘their ancestor’ William Cobb and the entire Court of Owls, every day of their lives.

3) UNEDITED SNIPPET, from the (as of now) eighth installment, “Its a Long, Long Way to Tipperary,” from a scene after Dick has found out everything there is to find out about Cobb and the Court’s history and how it involves his family. This is Dick talking to Jason and Cass, relaying one of his last memories with Daniel. Not edited, needs chopping, but general sentiment/idea is mostly finalized:

“Names have power,” Grandpa said to me, on one of the last days I remember with him before he passed away. We were sitting outside in folding chairs and watching the stars, until he got too cold and we had to go in. But while we were out there, so much of what he said…I didn’t really understand most of it at the time. Honestly, even what I thought I understood, I realized years later wasn’t really right. I could follow the words but so much of what he meant, I didn’t even begin to understand until I happened to look back to that night years later.

Because even though I was mostly lost then and there, for months by then I’d heard my parents talking when they thought I couldn’t hear. I’d seen him doubled over coughing more and more frequently, how tightly he clutched a blanket around him when it wasn’t really all that cold. I may not have fully known what was coming but I knew on some level that something was coming to an end.

And I remember him talking so fast that night, words spilling out so quickly in a confusing mess like he couldn’t take the time to shape them properly and just had to get them out….I remember soaking it all in, as much as I could, knowing that it was important even if I didn’t know what it even was, or why. Like I was trying to just….absorb it, make it a part of me the way it almost felt like it was bleeding out of him. I don’t know that the thought, the image of him dying that summer, of soon being without him, I can’t say whether that actually ever occurred to me. I just know that I knew urgency, and I knew Grandpa was only urgent when it mattered, so I listened without understanding and somehow managed to store most of it away.

I could be crediting myself with too much intuition and I was just lucky, but….I don’t know why this so hard to describe. I don’t know why I’m trying to describe it, why that feels important, I just know that it does and it did. He wasn’t talking to me the way he normally did, when he’d always stop and make sure I was actually following him, asking me questions to make sure I understood what he was trying to say…..maybe that was what made the difference. Because it wasn’t just that he was talking fast, but without pausing, that’s what was the strange part. Not trying to make sure he was understood, or even caring….just trying to get it out of him, like what was most important was just that he said it and it was heard. Maybe just so he knew it wouldn’t die with him.

So I remember it all, or at least most of it, enough of it. I’d honestly gone years without even thinking of that night before I did remember it and finally try to think back to what he’d said and see if I could recall any of it, make any more sense of it now than then. And maybe that’s what baffles me. How I could have found all of it tucked away in the back of my mind somewhere when I’d forgotten I even put it there at all. It feels….it never made sense to me. That I remembered. I shouldn’t have been able to, not in so much detail, after so much time, not when there were so many other things I couldn’t even place. And yet there it all was, and right when I most needed to hear what he’d said to me that night. The things nobody else could have told me because nobody else knew the secret language of names that he seemed to speak, that he’d spent his whole life learning all so that maybe he could somehow in that find his own name.

“Names have power,” he said. “They can be magic in the right hands. A man who knows who he is knows his own name. And the things you can do with, the doors that can be unlocked…oh, Dickie, my boy. There’s a door to anywhere if you can speak the right name when asked for a key. But its not enough to just say them and throw them around, its not the sounds, the words, its what they are. You can’t pretend to know a thing, to know yourself. You have to really, truly know. But once you know….for a boy as bright as you, there’s no end to the possibilities.”

“So here’s what you must always remember, the real trick of it all…..names have power. But the power isn’t in the name. The power is in what you decide it should be. You can’t claim a name and therein take its power, you see….because you have to be the one to put power in the name first. You have to look at it and see what you want it to be. And only then claim and make it yours, and everything that comes with it. Your father named you Richard, though he calls you Dickie, you were born a Flying Grayson and thus you always will be, and your mother named you her little Robin, born on the first day of spring. And all of these can be you, because no one is just one thing. And yet none of them are you unless you claim them to be.

So if you are to be Robin, as your mother named you but is only you if you choose to say yes that is me…..before you claim it fully, before you truly make it yours, you have to look at Robin and what it will be when you choose to be Robin. You have to see Robin not as even your mother sees her Robin, but as you see your Robin.

That’s the danger and that’s the trick.

You can’t claim Robin while seeing only what someone else sees, and think that by claiming it you’ve claimed its power….instead you’ve just claimed a trap, donned a self that doesn’t suit you because it is not you, only something someone else thought could be you.

And by accepting that Robin, claiming that name and everything that comes with it….you will never be free to be more than whatever they thought you could be. There is no power in that, no potential, no freedom…..just the limitations you’ve accepted as your own, because someone thought you limited by such things, and yet you agreed that they were right when you claimed the name….but only the name as they shaped and imagined it to be, instead of you on your own.

So who is Robin? What power do you see in that name? Don’t reach out and seize it the moment someone sets it forth in front of you, assuming that is all it can be, when the truth is you will only ever then be as big or small as they imagine, and yet you can just as easily be as vast as you can dream.

Never claim a name if you haven’t first looked at it as you first see it, and then imagine it bigger, and then imagine it deeper, and then imagine it greater, and keep going until you can’t imagine any more. And only then will you know what that name is…..when you say this name is who I truly want to be.

Robin is a bird, yes, Robin Red-Breast, a creature of spring, of the air, of new life. You can claim that and make it yours but first…..what else could Robin be?

Can not Robin just as easily be Robin Hood or Robin Goodfellow? Couldn’t you be? And why even be just one, when you can be all three?

No man is ever just one thing, and any man who thinks that he is has more dreaming to do. Or else he’s already trapped by a name of someone else’s making, and all the confines that came with it.

Your mother named you her little bird, and maybe it fits you because you were born to fly, or maybe you were born to be Robin, and you simply chose to fly. Who can say? Who can say which Robin is the most you, other than you?

So be Robin, in as much as you imagine Robin to be. Be the bird that flies, or the champion of the poor, or the merry trickster whom even kings fear. Or be all of them in one….there’s power enough for all of that in just that one little name….so long as you put it there first.

Its that simple, and its that tricky. There is no in between. You are whatever name you claim as you. But you must know what it is as well, because it isn’t enough just to know yourself as you are…..when the name’s the thing, that which says who you WOULD be, the you that you WANT to be, that you claim THIS, this is me.

If you remember nothing else, Dickie, Richard, Robin times three or however many more Robins you might be…..

If someday you say I taught you nothing else, there’s nothing else I gave you, left for you to take with you wherever you go, hear me now, and remember this, even if only this:

No matter how well you might think it suits you at first, the name you claim because it fits you as you are, will never be more than a trap.

The power in names, the true power…..only comes from claiming the name that fits the you, that you would dream yourself to be.

Many kings of the earth have laughed as they introduced your family as Kings of the Sky throughout the years, but the jest they don’t get is for all their riches, they were the ones content to claim titles and riches that leave them trapped on the earth, confined within borders of their own makings, sealed behind walls they chose to erect between them and everything that was not theirs and thus would never be. But a King of the Sky soars above all of that, needing none of that…..because the sky has no end, and is so much vaster than any of that could ever be.

If you would someday choose a crown, my little Prince of the Sky, never seek yours on the ground. Reach for one bigger than the ground could ever hold….only that could ever fit all that you might someday be.

#long post

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